Love has a neurochemistry, and it's well-studied enough that we can separate romantic love from infatuation, lust, and deep friendship with measurable signs. Ten of them, each with the research behind it.

1. Thinking about them when they're not around — often

Helen Fisher's fMRI studies showed the ventral tegmental area — a dopamine-rich region — activates at the thought of a romantic partner. It produces the "can't stop thinking about them" signal reliably.

2. Wanting emotional closeness, not just physical

Infatuation centres on presence and appearance; love involves desire to know the person's inner life. The shift in what you want from interactions is a reliable marker.

3. Their happiness feels like yours

Self-other overlap — a well-measured construct — increases when you're in love. Their good news genuinely feels like good news for you.

4. You're willing to be vulnerable with them

Vulnerability predicts long-term relationship satisfaction (Brown, multiple studies). The willingness to be seen is a strong marker of genuine love versus defended attraction.

5. Stress feels lower in their presence

Cortisol measurably drops in the presence of a securely-loved partner. The "I feel calmer with them" sensation has biological correlates.

6. Their flaws are visible and acceptable

Infatuation idealises; love accepts. Seeing their flaws clearly and still choosing them is one of the most durable signs.

7. You think about long-term plans with them

Future-orientation in your thinking is a shift from infatuation's present-fixation. You naturally start weaving them into five-year imaginings.

8. Physical affection expresses something beyond sexual attraction

Non-sexual touch — hand-holding, leaning into them — becomes emotionally meaningful, not just erotic.

9. You handle disagreements rather than avoid them

Infatuation avoids conflict to preserve the fantasy. Love engages with conflict because the relationship matters enough to repair.

10. You feel more like yourself with them, not less

The Michelangelo effect: in good relationships, partners shape each other toward their ideal selves. You feel expanded, not diminished. This is one of the strongest predictors of long-term satisfaction.

Ten signs; no single one is definitive. But if you recognise seven or more in an ongoing way, what you're experiencing is what the research calls love — and it's more durable than the infatuation version that often gets confused for it.